Those new-agey beliefs we wax philosophical about when things don't go right, they've got to go.
- I'm stuck in this shitty job because it's my karma.
- If getting my ass jammed in the photocopier wasn't meant to be it wouldn't have happened.
- As a distant cousin of Homer Simpson, I'm a genetic disaster. Nothing can change what I am.
We have self-determination people! It's a game, this thang called life, a playing field to challenge our courage, wit, humour and humanity; and we've got to play!
Did you notice the genie sitting next to you, the invisible one? She's been waiting to take on the world with you since forever. Genie is your co-pilot.
If your life was a toy train on a toy track, genie is the kid who watches you go round and round, clearing the track ahead, moving cows out the way.
Radio, Pineal Gland, whatever. Your genie has been broadcasting messages to you your whole life but, damn it, no one told you about your radio - your pineal gland if you must.
Before you reach for the salt and garland of garlic, genies are simply our higher selves.
Here's how to tune in to your genie radio.
Practice
Start slow: First, master the parking angel. This easy exercise will develop the tools you need to work with your genie.
Enter a parking lot. Call on the parking angel. Use your heart energy to send a message. Invite magic to happen. If you are under ten years of age, you might call on the parking angel like this:
Parking Angel, Parking Angel, be with me now!
That’s what I say, but I’m thpeshal.
If you are mature you might say:
Parking Angel, guide my car to the perfect parking space.
Your objective: manifest a free spot. A car might reverse out of a parking space in front of you. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again, next time with more faith.
Belief is the key to unlock the pineal gland. Or in the language I’m going for today, it switches on your radio.
Genie Rules
Genie isn't here to follow your plan. What if your plan was, well, stupid? She is your guide. She represents your life's grand design.
Genie can't win the lotto.
Johnny has his own genie, though he might have, accidentally, buried it.
Genie is broadcasting all the time, regardless of whether you ask for help or not. If you don't know what you need, listen for guidance.
Genie only works for you. She can't meddle with Johnny's meth lab in the back shed.
Sometimes destruction is the first step to creation. If genie is suggesting you walk away from that ponzi scheme, it might sound crazy, but she is never wrong.
Apply it to Everything
Health. Ask genie to transform your meal into powerful healing energy. Put genie in charge of your run. Bring genie to task of healing your body when you are unwell.
Work. Ask genie to help you deliver your presentation in a way that is most effective to the audience. Ask for answers, support, insight, and synchronicity.
Relationships. Ask genie to help you raise the tone of your relationship, to bring about transformation if you feel stuck. Let genie know when you are ready to learn all that inhibits your expression of love.
With everything. For fun, try to engage your genie in everything you do for a whole day. How different does your day feel? Did your day move in a strange new way?
Want to turn that radio up?
Then quieten down.
Meditate. Find a technique that feels like love at first (in)sight. Vipassana was the one for me. Then I made a rookie mistake and switched to Kriya Yoga because I loved it more. Having two feet in two different canoes never works; soon I was back to one.
Genie messages blow away if the mind is windy. Still your mind when you tune in.
Try this exercise (from The Artists Way): Write 4 pages of mind gibberish every morning and every night. Not to be confused with journaling, this is one continuous scrawl of mental chatter. If your mind goes blank, write, “I can’t think of somefink to write.” It will flow again after that. This is a great exercise to defrag your mind.
Movement: Yoga. Exercise. You can’t think and run, or think and balance at the same time.
Eat pure and light: The anthem of Yogaleaks. Sugar, chemicals, excess animal protein; it’s hard to hear that teeny tiny radio when you’re body’s freaking out!
If life is a game, it's genie who knows how to play. Listen and be guided. Life will soon feel like the game it is.