Immigration Files of Bodytalk Prodigy Leaked
Yoga Leaks
Commander Deanna Troi, aka Kym HaynesIf you have missed the past blog articles, Bodytalk is a healing system that was brought to Earth from Betazed by Captain Jean-Luc of the USS Starship Enterprise. Commander Deanna Troi, a half Betazoid empath, uses this technique to assist her human friends bring their bodymind to balance.
Maybe you missed the documentary series called Startrek The Next Generation, and you don't know what a Betazoid empath is. Don't stop reading! Just know that Deanna Troi is a psychic, intuitive from another planet. Both her and Jean-Luc are from the 24th century. Using extraplanetary technology, there were able to go back in time to live amongst us. On Earth, they have taken on new alias' to bring us a very advanced, supernal therapy called Bodytalk. Really!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard aka Dr. John VeltheimJean-Luc called it Bodytalk, as the original name was just a thought, which would have posed obvious problems for the system to be introduced here.
Secret agents from my national immigration department interviewed Kym Haynes, the human identity taken on by Deanna Troi. She is a prolific Bodytalk therapist from no part of our world. Kym lives on the seven seas and works with her clients through Skype. Physical space is important for Kym to maintain her Betazoid empathic frequencies. She lives not unlike the characters do in Waterworld. What? I am the only one who has seen that movie?
USS Starship EnterpriseMost of “Kym Haynes'” interview was censored and locked down. The minutes that were found on the editor’s floor are leaked here:
Secret Agent 1
What kind of imbalances have you cleared with Bodytalk on humans?
Kym
To name a few: chronic fatigue, immobile spines, chronic misalignment, damage from surgeries, and whiplash. Also, Hormonal problems, polycystic ovaries, infertility, recurring illnesses and infections, learning and behavioral problems, childbirth, erection problems, digestive issues, hemorrhoids, and pre and post surgery care.
Secret Agent 1
Erection problems?
Secret Agent 2
Shut up Secret Agent 1!
Secret Agent 1
Well, it’s just that my aunt has a nephew who’s, um, cat has a problem. (Clears throat.) Kym, that’s a very comprehensive list.
Secret Agent 2
(To Secret Agent 1) Your cat Barbara?!
(Back to Kym) Sorry Kym, Secret Agent 1 got off message. Continuing; what is the most incredible aspect of Bodytalk?
Location of this interviewKym
How quickly Bodytalk gets to the cause of the matter, and then effectively addresses this within the person. I also appreciate the willingness of Jean-Luc (known as Dr. John Veltheim to Earth people) and our colleagues to share their research. It allows Bodytalk to constantly evolve.
Bodytalk works just as effectively with animals as it does with humans, Secret Agent 1. You know, if you want to bring your cat Barbara in to address her erection problems… The strangest Bodytalk session that I have done was a session that I did with an animal: I helped a lonely goat become accepted back into his goat family. I assure you, I won’t make Barbara feel uncomfortable.
Secret Agent 1
What about drinking problems? Or smoking? What about, if someone goes out to do a bit of hoochy goochy on the weekends, you know, and have all of these sexy girls around. But then he wants to do that every day. What if that person doesn’t want to live in a perfect nation or be a secret agent any more? Just because someone’s father was a secret agent, does that mean that the child can not be a Botanic Garden Curator? So, could you help me? Him? I mean, that person?
Secret Agent 2
(Whispering) Agent! You are breaking 8 out of the 10 codes of conduct in the CYBWOOOPINH (Conducting Your Behaviour Whilst Out Of Our Perfect Island Nation Handbook). This is not the time! One more personal question and I will report you.
Kym
That’s OK, secret agents. I am sensing that you could use a session, Secret Agent 1. Yes, quitting smoking, alcohol, drugs or even questionable hygiene habits is a complex issue, as there are usually physical and lifestyle patterns established. There are reasons that a person uses to justify their habit. There are also emotional reasons for why one began on this path, and why one has continued.
Kym's relative location at presentUsing Bodytalk will lead to a more intelligent bodymind. These people will feel empowered to choose less abusive ways of coping with their lives. They will deal with the underlying issues instead of covering them up with cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. And sexy women, Secret Agent 1. Or cats...
Loosing weight and attracting money are a lot easier to work with in Bodytalk. I run group sessions on these subjects with great success, and my clients are not even present. The space-time continuum is no boundary to the success of Bodytalk.
Secret Agent 1
Barbara needs BodytalkTime space continuum... That’s amazing. You said that so well Commander. I mean Kym. Can you tell me the real name of Bodytalk? Send me the thought!
(Waits)
Did you hear that, Secret Agent 2? I heard it; it was like dolphins squeaking!
Secret Agent 2
(Whispering) Shut up Secret Agent 1. You look like an idiot!
(To Kym) How can we find a good Bodytalk therapist on Earth?
Kym
Make sure that they are well trained. Go to the Bodytalk website, www.bodytalksystem.com, then to practitioners. Look for a practitioner that has "PaRama", or "Advanced Bodytalk Certification.
Secret Agent 1
W
Jean-Luc aka Dr. John Veltheim. Gravity has affected him since his Enterprise days.hen can my cat Barbara see you? Are you open to taking clients?
Kym
Yes. I see all of my clients by distance. They have to call me Kym though, and not my Betazoid identity. I will never admit my real identity to humans. I can be contacted by email:
Secret Agent 2
You know, I used to be a Betazoid empath.
Kym
Now look who’s being an idiot, Secret Agent 2. Or should I call you -- (Silence.)
Secret Agent 1
Ha, I heard that! Ha, good one, Commander Troi.
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