He Who Shall Not Be Named Adapts to New Spiritual Paradigm
Yoga Leaks
It's kinda crazy to put up his picture because he is somebody you will never, ever see.I can’t tell you who leaked this phenomenal report about the current spiritual nature of humanity, but I can tell you he’s one of the most secretive and influential commune leaders the world has known. I’ll even slip in a few photos of him - never his whole face, of course.
For decades this iconic leader harboured spiritual secrets so powerful, they were nothing less than a burden. In all his years of living as an enlightened master, he searched in vain to find a compeer bright enough to impart the full extent of his wisdom. Ultimately, he who shall not be named concluded that it was not easy being green. Green, as in, enlightened. Did I stretch that too far?
Celebrities have gone to extrordinary lengths to win his favour. Yes, that's Lady GagaHe once said that it would be to misunderstand this honour if he were to complain. He did what he was called to do - to bring light to a dark world. Millions followed him, and thousands tried in vain to find his secretive, swampy commune. This, of course, included a predictable handful of famous people. Few secured his initiation.
It was, therefore, a great surprise when he approached me at a recent diplomatic mission, which I can not expand on. He told me that commune life is to be no more. People who hold the spiritual light, and tend to it by polishing and refining their vehicle in which it shines, should no longer reside in the easy comfort of each other’s company.
He added:
For decades we lived together, practiced telepathic communication, and observed a strict spiritual way of life, ate only flies... It was the sum of spiritual power being greater than its parts. To do this we had to protect ourselves against the old energies that were fostered by the greater culture.
But now I see it as self-serving, to say the least. It leaves the rest of the world in the dark. We can’t change humanity unless we scatter ourselves amongst their dross and shine a light on the path.
I didn't quite like how much he emphasised the word dross, but I get it. And given what kind of um, "person" he is, I'm surprised that he has tired of his lifestyle choice.
He has come far. He doesn't know that I have an old pre-enlightenment picture of him taken in 1959 by my secret agents. We suspected him of using mind-control methods to get people to follow him. Which, we concluded, he did. But the result was quite pleasing, so we left him alone.
A top secret picture taken by secret agents of him, before he found enlightenmentSo you heard it here folks: communes are as yesterday as macrobiotic diets and Rune Stones. And devotees of he who shall not be named now live amongst us to save us from ourselves.
Doesn't that idea have a tinge of some forms of Christianity? I assure you however, he means no harm.
What I personally took away from his conversation is that, if we are inclined to pursue a spiritual path, it might be better to test our spiritual mettle amongst a society that includes the most uninformed people, as well as people who are more like ourselves.
To live our life as best we can will serve as a powerful example to anyone who is drawn to us by the spiritual power of affinity. No teaching (or mind control) required.
Reader Comments (3)
I love this! Of course he was a commune leader! There was something "more"to him than met the eye. There were whispers also. I wonder if he ever put out tarot cards or dancing meditation music like Osho did. He could have made a packet! I bet he did make a packet! Loving your blog!
Your articles need to be in every major broadsheet or weekend magazine in the world. What a fresh read. Who ever discovers you and exploits you (ha ha) will make a mint!
Funny you should mention he who should not be named. I saw him once. Passed by a swamp, saw something green shift from lilly pad to lilly pad. I sat and meditated. Three days later I woke with realisations. I knew they came from he, who must have whispered them in my ear while I was dozing. i mean, meditating. He told me that I was hungry. And that I should feast. I knew that he was speaking in metaphors, though I was by then really really hungry. So I went to eat. My life changed. I eat all the time now, and feel the hunger for life like I never did before. I am sad that I will never see him again at that swamp. But think! He is amongst us now. That just makes me feel like having a cheeseburger right now!