You Versus The zombie apocalypse
Yoga Leaks
It’s totally cool to be down with the Zombie Apocalypse. Brad Pitt is, which means you should be too, right? Cool people love zombies.
This trend flew under my radar for a while. Presidential obligations kept me from looking out of the fish bowl that is my pristine island nation. When I travelled abroad though, the zombie apocalypse was on the lips of trend-setters everywhere.
I thought it was urban slang for cool, the overdue replacement for phat, wicked and smack. So as one would expect of a people’s presidentess, I worked this new word into every situation.
Café attendant: We’re offering organic milk now. Would you like to try some?
Why did cool people make the zombie apocalypse hot? Me: Like a zombie apocalypse!
Me to my driver: Take me to the airport fast! There’s a zombie apocalypse!
I know I forgot the golden rule of cool: It only happens when you don’t try.
And somewhere along the way, I figured out that zombie apocalypse really means zombie apocalypse.
I must remember to apologise to Mr. Putin, for telling him that his wife looks like one.
How bemusing that as soon as I became aware of zombies and their imminent apocalypse, the secret service called an emergency briefing about this very subject.
But you know I can't serve my people if I have to withhold top secret, information.
To the leak then!
The zombie apocalypse is a trend with a purpose. It primes the idea that our future might look a lot like this: chaos, ‘dead’ people walking, groups operating with one mind. The flesh-eating part simply fleshes out the idea that this situation is life-threatening.
Zombies are mutant, dead people walking.
Rat raised on GMO food.Dare I say, but isn't this familiar? Cancer, obesity and plastic surgery fantastically augment the physical body. If GMO food enters the mainstream, you will see mutant everywhere, I promise.
Dead people don’t have to be dead-dead.
People die inside when they are abused. Others live a life so passion-less, they struggle to remember a time when they felt alive.
Zombies gather in large groups and act with ‘one mind’.
Are we loosing the skill of human connection? Yes, it is a skill.Did you think of the internet when you read that line? This awesome, powerful tool has influenced the way humanity exists so drastically, it launched us into a new historical time period – The Big Data Age. We access information and respond to it immediately; we campaign, become the collective voice for change, and influence our world right now.
Or
We troll, play violent games, watch pornography and stare at pretty pictures until our senses numb to level: zombie.
When we can access information it brings every culture and class to the same table. It introduces the idea this is all possible and that we are connected, literally, as one consciousness.
For these same reasons, the internet is a weapon that can make its captive audience adopt beliefs using propaganda.
To keep the internet a force for good, it needs to stay free and open.
The best defence of a zombie apocalypse is not this:
But this:
Here's the zinger
The internet is the canoe that takes us to the other side.
Soon, we won't need a computer interface to tap into global consciousness.
Do you ever get the feeling that you ‘know’ what your friend is thinking, or what your brother on the other side of the planet is feeling?
These are the baby steps that will lead us to the day where we will be the internet.
Curiosity, self-discipline and perseverance will get us there.
Computers are made in our image; they show us what we are capable of doing.
Stay awake
Pay attention. You are part of an extremely important moment in human evolution. We all have two hands and a great mind that can change our world. We're not here to be entertained, but to get to work and raise our consciousness one human-to-human interaction at a time.
Notice that the facebook scroll doesn’t change much day-to-day? Famous quotes, cute cats, instagram dishes, articles, friend’s holiday; it's hypnotic. Hours can fly by while we stare at the feed. And there goes our life.
Pope Francis said to me the other day, “Young people today are feeding off information constantly - but they are never nourished. And where's that freaking wheatgrass shot I ordered ten minutes ago?! I need to go to the bathroom like a zombie apocalypse.”
Today is the most important day of your life. The kindness you share will move humanity, either higher or lower. Lets pray then, that your morning cup of coffee was just how you like it. Humanity is counting on you!
This clip is just over two minutes long. Let these jelly beans show you how important your time is right now.
Do you want to know what's more exciting than a zombie apocalypse? It's even better than turning into a walking, multi-dimensional internet.
It's becoming Brad Pitt, or Indiana Jones or Katniss; and save humanity from self-annihilation. Because you wont be on the freaking internet!
Reader Comments (7)
You can communicate in a way that I have not seen anywhere else. That's a HUGE talent! I hope you voice is heard far and wide. People of earth need you!
You are so right. We need to get over the fascination of social media. It's been around for a while now. Time to get a grip and put it all in perspective! Get out, do shit, check on the internet world once a day. We can't hide behind the screen and think that somebody else will fix our world.
We have lost the skill of interaction, haven't we. Some of us prefer our internet friends because if we don't like what they say, we can just switch them off. Great article Presidentess. Most inspiring.
When you break it down like this, yes, the zombie apocalypse is here! Just that blood and gore is like a firewall that prevented me from seeing what you saw - that it's pretty simple, and it's a sign. Thanks for your great site Pres. Nice new pic, by the way. Fearturing: Your side!
Great zinger. You're right on the button dear Pres.
I AM Katniss.
Yes, why did cool people make the zombie apocalypse hot?
Because 'cool' people are very aware of the power of trends. Trends, though in one way shallow, move our culture. They present urgency and give a sense of time to our society. If 'we' are screwing the planet by over consumption and ingorance, what better way to create awareness by making a zombie apocalypse trendy. It says there is mindlessness followed by an end. Kind of perfect, don't you think Eric?