Shhh. I am the Presidentess of a secret island nation. My country is so advanced, we have long rid ourselves of health issues, power struggles, arms races ('cause arms don't race that fast), animal abuse, and, of course, bacon. Now is not the time to withhold all that I know, and so I blog.
We uncover a leaked immigration document of an individual who passed the secret immigration quality test of honesty, transparency, and integrity of my country. They inspire! This transcript was translated from code.
Warning: Reading the following information has been known to cause random sprouting of dreadlocks in civilizations beyond my control. In my nation we regularly eat quantum food. We call it Sacred Meal. It’s not new, rather a long held secret harboured by sages, priests, and high government for thousands of years. Egyptian Pharaohs, Daniel and John the Baptist from the Bible, Hercules (the man) and Pythagoras all prepared this sacred meal. Subsequently, their super-human strength and mental superiority became legendary.
To dispel the hypnotism of beauty campaigns, we sponsored our own campaign called “It’s So Not Worth It”. It parodied familiar hair and beauty commercials, included time-lapse clips which showed skin turning old and pasty after make-up was applied, or hair falling out after it became coloured or shampooed. The campaign was a great success. We educated our citizens about life choices that enhanced wellness and kinaesthetic control. The by-product of wellbeing and lightness was the experience of feeling beautiful and alive.
It’s easy. Simply enhance and fortify your energy field. We are electrical beings by nature, and this energy is what we respond to when we feel beautiful or perceive it in others. The following suggestions either generate more energy for us to use and exude, or they transform our energy into a higher, more brilliant state of being.
What is beautiful? It’s a sense more than a substance, exploited by the bazillion dollar industry and backed by a few less “experts”. The unconscious message addressed to us all is that we have to pay, and only then will we be more beautiful. Surely everyone knows it’s a money scam. You know, except every woman in the modern world.
Yoga Leaks